I have battled with insecurities, feelings of inadequacy and ugliness for as long as I can remember.
In those unpleasant moments I sometimes wonder, “Do other women feel the same way?” But a lot of times I just conclude, “I am all alone in this.” Often, consumed and blinded by the lies of what I feel, I become so self-absorbed seeing nothing but my own hurts and pains. It’s like I could not see pass my own nose. I seem to unwittingly surrender to the falsehood of my sentiment and pride; I completely succumb to the trickery of my emotions.
No, I am not trying to shame myself for the whole world to see. I know this is something you don’t admit to people especially when you are a Christian. Best to tuck it away neatly so no one would notice it. Except I know that I am not alone in this struggle even among Christian women.
I am publicly writing this not only because it’s true in my life but I also desire for other women to share in the victory I recently found in this area.
In arrogance, whenever I go to another country or place to share my faith, I frequently think that I will bless and teach them about Jesus and about how to act as Christians. Without fail, God always squashes my egotism by blessing me and teaching me instead, humbling my proud heart in the end.
This is what happened to me in my recent visit to China. God, once again, showed me my pride was in the way; it had to go. And yes, He immensely blessed me through the people I met. He powerfully taught me truths that needed to come alive in my walk with Him. One of those truths was about beauty.
A Chinese sister taught me something about beauty I would never forget.
We had the rare opportunity to learn about women in the Bible with Chinese women for two weekends. One of the women in our team shared with us how a Chinese girl confided to her group during sharing time about the abuse she is going through with her parents. Her parents constantly remind her that she would not amount to anything. Because of this, she had felt devalued and unlovely. Talk about feeling insecure and ugly. This girl has it rough.
But when she accepted Jesus, she proclaimed that now she doesn’t feel that way because she has glory beauty.
Her parents have not changed, but she has changed. She no longer sees herself as trash the way her parents want her to feel. Her perception of herself was turned upside-down because now she sees the reality of her beauty. Her beauty does not come from her or from her parents. It comes from God. She is beautiful because she has glory beauty.
I have never heard anyone say anything like this before. But it’s exactly what every woman of God should hear. I know it’s what I needed to hear. She is so right in affirming the power of this truth! These two simple words lingered in my soul and made me realize that I am beautiful because I am His child.
I have glory beauty.
There is no reason for me to feel uncertain about who I am and my worth, no reason to hold on to the lie that I am incompetent, and no reason to assume that I am unattractive because I belong to Jesus.
To my sisters, as daughters of the King, we have glory beauty. Our value does not come from what others say about us or what our emotions tell us, but what God says about us. The world may train us to think otherwise, but we do not need to continue on its deceptive path. I will not again let my insecurities convince me that I am ugly, or that I am not valued because I know that I am, for I am God’s child created in His own image.
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. – Genesis 1:27
To my Chinese sister, thank you for those words. You certainly spoke words of life to my dry bones. The weight of what you said in those two simple words lifted the burden I had imprisoned myself with. You taught me how to break free from that prison.
© 2014 Kezia Lewis. All Rights Reserved.