Without God, I Don’t Think We Would Still Be Married

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Today is our 3rd year anniversary.

And for some reason, within the last few days, I keep reading blog posts, essays, and articles about love and marriage more so than anything else. I reckon it’s that season for me where the big theme is on this unquenchable subject on love. Or maybe my attention on this topic is exceptionally heightened during this special time of the year. Either way, I really find love and marriage a stimulating motif for discussions. So, I delve in and read a substantive amount of written works about it.

Although, I have long woken up from my vivid dreams of the so-called ‘perfect love affair’ with ‘the one’ and abandoned lies about love and marriage I have held for so long. I think it is worth dissecting to grow more and to pass on what I learn: not only to my children one day but to women I know who are holding on to the same pattern of lies, dressed in different events, which I have gone through. Continue reading “Without God, I Don’t Think We Would Still Be Married”

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On Same-Sex Marriage: I Choose Love, I Choose Grace

I Choose Love2

I am saddened.

A few hours ago, I read post after post from friends on Facebook, blogs, and twitter either rejoicing or mourning over the US Supreme Court’s ruling on the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) as unconstitutional and dismissal of Proposition 8, thereby effectively restoring same-sex marriage in California. The cry of the people on this paradigm shift range from extreme joy to acute disgust. This event, without doubt, marks a big leap towards a profound alteration of perspectives in what marriage in America looks like. Continue reading “On Same-Sex Marriage: I Choose Love, I Choose Grace”

The Illusion of the Right One: How I Found Freedom from the Lie

The Lie
Somewhere out there is my Mr. Right. When I find him, I will be whole and happy.

I know I bought this lie.

We have been inundated with movies and books brandishing fairytale-like love stories and insanely romantic love affairs filled with characters so in love and so “right” for each other; or preached at, by some of our churches and well-meaning Christian friends, that finding the “right Christian guy (or girl)” equals perfect happiness plus the assurance of a struggle-free marriage implying that Christians ought to have it all together. It is almost impossible not to think that we deserve the kind of love story portrayed in our modern-day media — that story with the right one — as we are skillfully bombarded with it daily. Our vision of marriage is that of a couple whose story opens with a great line and ends with an exceptional closing scene in which the length in between can be measured by the number of pages or hours. Continue reading “The Illusion of the Right One: How I Found Freedom from the Lie”

Staying Married is Not About Staying in Love (from "This Momentary Marriage" by John Piper)

Marriage passes through breathtaking heights and through swamps with choking vapors.  It makes many things sweeter, and with it come bitter providences.      – John PiperIn a few days, Jason and I will be celebrating our second anniversary as a couple.  Still on the honeymoon stage, as many would say, and still such a young couple.  In some … Continue reading Staying Married is Not About Staying in Love (from "This Momentary Marriage" by John Piper)