{abba's girl. fearless & fiercely loved.} by kezia lewis
Writing about my walk as Abba's girl. Celebrating and sharing Jesus to others.
I feel a great deal of angst staring at a blank page. I have been at this since this morning, frantic and uneasy on how to write about my year 2018. It’s now three in the afternoon; ah, what to say? It was a good year. It was a hard year. 2018 began with a … Continue reading 2018: A Personal Reflection
Green Card About a month ago, I watched this Filipino TV show where a friend of the heroine suggested a solution to her problem: marry an American guy to get a green card. She is conflicted about this advice because she considers marriage sacred. So she goes to church to pray about it. She sees … Continue reading Subtle Lies
I get angry so quickly lately. I am ashamed to admit that it’s been easier for me to snap at almost anyone (often, my husband) even with the smallest of things than to extend love and grace. My patience is shorter; I explode for no reason. I have been asking myself why — wondering what brought this on. I was never like this before. There just seems to be so much anger in my heart.
Today, I found the answer to my question.
I need to forgive.
As hard as it is for me to admit, I have to confront this truth about myself: I am unforgiving. Continue reading “For My Own Sake”
Today is our 3rd year anniversary.
And for some reason, within the last few days, I keep reading blog posts, essays, and articles about love and marriage more so than anything else. I reckon it’s that season for me where the big theme is on this unquenchable subject on love. Or maybe my attention on this topic is exceptionally heightened during this special time of the year. Either way, I really find love and marriage a stimulating motif for discussions. So, I delve in and read a substantive amount of written works about it.
Although, I have long woken up from my vivid dreams of the so-called ‘perfect love affair’ with ‘the one’ and abandoned lies about love and marriage I have held for so long. I think it is worth dissecting to grow more and to pass on what I learn: not only to my children one day but to women I know who are holding on to the same pattern of lies, dressed in different events, which I have gone through. Continue reading “Without God, I Don’t Think We Would Still Be Married”
I am saddened.
A few hours ago, I read post after post from friends on Facebook, blogs, and twitter either rejoicing or mourning over the US Supreme Court’s ruling on the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) as unconstitutional and dismissal of Proposition 8, thereby effectively restoring same-sex marriage in California. The cry of the people on this paradigm shift range from extreme joy to acute disgust. This event, without doubt, marks a big leap towards a profound alteration of perspectives in what marriage in America looks like. Continue reading “On Same-Sex Marriage: I Choose Love, I Choose Grace”
My husband and I have been crazy busy in the last few days. Then, there’s the mysterious three days of not having any internet connection. Everyone else appeared to have it except us.
So this poem is a tad late for what I intended it for, but as the old cliché goes, “Better late than never.”
This is for my Mama and for all the Mamas out there, whether you are the biological or adoptive mother of your kids. Thank you for all that you have done, for all that you do, and for all that you are ready to do for us, your children. Continue reading “Mama: A Daughter’s Display of Love and Gratitude”
Father, for my husband I pray
For his wife,
Father, give her Your heart for him.
May she wait silently for You alone, for her expectation is from You.
Let her love release him to You, not try to take control.
Strip her of endless expectations for him to perform,
instead for love, grace, and mercy to thrive in her home.
Rouse her early in the day to speak of him to You;
let the beauty of her heart radiate the time she spent with You. Continue reading “Father, for my Husband I Pray”
My sister and I planned to buy her a diamond ring for her 50th birthday.
We were overwrought with hospital bills, doctors, and expensive vials. We forgot about the diamond.
I keep a small notebook with me everywhere I go. I write down ideas that come into my mind before they slip away, ideas to write or share. After my last blog post a few days ago, I started scanning my notebook to refresh myself with what I have written. Then, my mind started drifting to other more practical things to think of, to upcoming events, to appointments set for this month. This month. Wait, it’s April.
April. It’s my mama’s birthday month.
I remembered the diamond. Continue reading “A Diamond for Mama”
The Lie
Somewhere out there is my Mr. Right. When I find him, I will be whole and happy.
I know I bought this lie.
We have been inundated with movies and books brandishing fairytale-like love stories and insanely romantic love affairs filled with characters so in love and so “right” for each other; or preached at, by some of our churches and well-meaning Christian friends, that finding the “right Christian guy (or girl)” equals perfect happiness plus the assurance of a struggle-free marriage implying that Christians ought to have it all together. It is almost impossible not to think that we deserve the kind of love story portrayed in our modern-day media — that story with the right one — as we are skillfully bombarded with it daily. Our vision of marriage is that of a couple whose story opens with a great line and ends with an exceptional closing scene in which the length in between can be measured by the number of pages or hours. Continue reading “The Illusion of the Right One: How I Found Freedom from the Lie”
Marriage passes through breathtaking heights and through swamps with choking vapors. It makes many things sweeter, and with it come bitter providences. – John PiperIn a few days, Jason and I will be celebrating our second anniversary as a couple. Still on the honeymoon stage, as many would say, and still such a young couple. In some … Continue reading Staying Married is Not About Staying in Love (from "This Momentary Marriage" by John Piper)
{abba's girl. fearless & fiercely loved.} by kezia lewis 