On Gratitude

by vol25 on www.etsy.com (Click on the image to go to vol25's page.)
by vol25 on http://www.etsy.com (Click on the image to go to vol25’s page.)

I have been thinking. A lot lately.

I have been restless and unable to put pen to paper. For weeks now, enduring this inexplicable burden I feel, I have tried to write to release me from my thoughts. Yet I can’t seem to construct a sentence I didn’t want to throw out the window. It all seems off. I kept waking up in the middle of the night with incoherent thoughts running wild and in all places.

With rain that seems to always find its way to Krabi more often than not these days, I contemplate even more. It gives me this calmness that allows me to gather my thoughts. I love rain. I am thankful for it. With it, I feel God’s embrace; I sense the familiar surge of gratitude rise up in my soul reminded of His unending grace. But something appears conflicting even as I whisper a prayer of thanks for it. Continue reading “On Gratitude”

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When Death Seems the Only Option

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Hungry and talking about what food to eat, Jason and I were oblivious to what was awaiting us just a few minutes later.

Laughing gaily in our car on our way to one of our favorite restaurants from our prayer meeting at church, we were both in a very light mood totally refreshed from the time of prayer we spent together with fellow Christians. We were on a quite familiar road that we’ve passed through more than a hundred times since we came here in Krabi. It is a narrow, utterly dark two-way street that is littered with fast-moving cars, motorcycles with broken taillights, and tuk-tuks (a three-wheeled motorcycle that is commonly used as transportation means by many Thais and tourists alike in the area.) We have become well-acquainted to this labyrinth on the road and have learned to navigate around it. We were not expecting anything more unusual than it already is from what we are used to, not expecting more than blinding headlights coming right at you or motorcycles driving on the wrong side of the road. These are ordinary occurrences here. Continue reading “When Death Seems the Only Option”

In Running After My American Dream

A few weeks ago, a friend left for the States on a new teaching opportunity. She is not the first one of my friends to leave for the US after I myself left my hometown for Windsor, North Carolina. Yet for some reason I seem to be re-living that episode in my life when I found out about her trip. I began retracing my steps from where I am now to my journey not too long ago.

My father was the one who sowed the seed of the American dream in me. I was in high school when he showed me a newspaper article about how American schools would need foreign teachers to come and teach in the next few years. He said if I decide to be a teacher, this can be my chance to go and have a better life.

I came from a financially struggling family. So I wanted that better life, the American dream, but I wasn’t sure about the teaching part.
Continue reading “In Running After My American Dream”

The God Choice

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Yes, that familiar fork in the road where you have to choose only one path.

The dilemma is never choosing between a good choice and a bad choice. Whenever faced with that question, we can easily pick one. The dilemma lies when you have to choose between two good options, two sound choices.

So, which one?

I make plans. That’s what I do. As a teacher, planning is a skill I have mastered so well I use it in every aspect of my life — including my relationship with Jesus. I had lofty dreams for Him; big plans of what I can accomplish for Him. Continue reading “The God Choice”

Staying

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“Yes, I am staying.”

After watching a video, I found myself uttering these very words to myself fully convinced that I am called to stay — in church.

I am not foreign to the cycle of excuses we often throw people or ourselves about leaving church. These excuses span from petty grievances on what carpet color to use or justified cries on the hypocrisy that exists in a group of imperfect people gathering together.

Church is boring. Church music is not modern enough. Church is so uptight.

Or, me and God, we have our own thing. I can pray and worship God at home. I can do church with my TV. Continue reading “Staying”

Go Left (A Luke 10 Journey)

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Photo Source:  www.sheepy.me

Leave at 8 in the morning.

Go left.

That was all Andreas, Cristo, and Anica knew when they stepped out of their guesthouse in Krabi town yesterday after praying where to go and leaving everything they own. With no money and no clothes, except the ones on their backs; and knowing nobody in a strange town where hardly anyone speaks English, they faithfully walked in the words of Luke 10 waiting for the Lord to show them their man of peace. Continue reading “Go Left (A Luke 10 Journey)”

On Same-Sex Marriage: I Choose Love, I Choose Grace

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I am saddened.

A few hours ago, I read post after post from friends on Facebook, blogs, and twitter either rejoicing or mourning over the US Supreme Court’s ruling on the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) as unconstitutional and dismissal of Proposition 8, thereby effectively restoring same-sex marriage in California. The cry of the people on this paradigm shift range from extreme joy to acute disgust. This event, without doubt, marks a big leap towards a profound alteration of perspectives in what marriage in America looks like. Continue reading “On Same-Sex Marriage: I Choose Love, I Choose Grace”

A Diamond for Mama

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My sister and I planned to buy her a diamond ring for her 50th birthday.

We were overwrought with hospital bills, doctors, and expensive vials. We forgot about the diamond.

I keep a small notebook with me everywhere I go. I write down ideas that come into my mind before they slip away, ideas to write or share. After my last blog post a few days ago, I started scanning my notebook to refresh myself with what I have written. Then, my mind started drifting to other more practical things to think of, to upcoming events, to appointments set for this month. This month. Wait, it’s April.

April. It’s my mama’s birthday month.

I remembered the diamond. Continue reading “A Diamond for Mama”