Today was one of those days were everything just seems off.
A few hours ago, I was upset. My anger was eating me up that I unintentionally directed my displeasure to my husband as we were preparing the slideshow for his sermon tomorrow. Poor Jason, he had to deal with my lousy attitude. My irritation consumed me; I did not realize I was being, well, rotten.
After working on the slides, we got ready to leave for the regular Saturday prayer meetings. We were not expecting a lot of people today knowing that some are gone for vacations or other reasons. I almost did not want to go, but I knew I had to. In the car, I was a bit more reflective. I started pondering about how I acted earlier. (Unfortunately, I have not quite mastered thinking first before acting. I frequently fail in this area. Sigh.) I apologized to Jason, and I started pouring out to him.
When we got to church, my mind took off to a different direction. I shifted to planning what I needed to prepare before people showed up. Not long after we arrived, our two Burmese friends came. Then, our Thai friend arrived. For a while, I forgot about my not-so-good day.
Then we started praying; out loud, each prayed in their native tongue. I felt the strong presence of the Holy Spirit. When we got to the last part of our prayer time, Jason asked us to praise God and tell Him how we felt about Him.
When we began doing this, I broke down.
Hearing English, Thai, and Burmese prayer all at once was so powerful; I was overcome by the intense presence of the Holy Spirit, as was each one at that moment. I began telling Him not only what I felt for Him, but the anger that I dragged along with me.
I felt Jesus embrace me at that moment to remind me that He understands.
I felt Jesus reassure me, as He always does over and over again, that He loves me.
I felt Jesus engulf me with His presence to tell me that He has heard my cries; and He wants me to hand over all the heaviness I nurtured in me to Him.
After I emptied myself of my anger to Him, it came rushing from inside of me and out into thin air.
I felt it leave me completely.
I don’t know how to explain what happened, but I felt Jesus’ compelling love push the burden out of my heart.
I was simply overtaken by His love.
© 2014 Kezia Lewis. All Rights Reserved.