Today I turned thirty-three.
I felt a soft tugging in my heart to spend the morning of my birthday with the Lord. So I woke up early this morning, went straight to the beach by myself, and spent all morning with God.
Today I turned thirty-three. And I am dumbfounded with gratitude for how God swept me away with His raging love.
His. Insane. Grace.
Staring into the beauty I beheld this morning, God broke the silence. As He softly spoke, I saw the last ten years of my life unfold before me. I furiously wrote what He reminded me with.
I would like to share some of these reminders to you, and hopefully you will be blessed and encouraged by them.
Within the span of ten years,
I saw both my parents deteriorate physically and eventually pass away. In both events, I was in extreme and incomprehensible pain but in both times I have become stronger and more grateful than ever for my life. Though death is not something we perceive as a blessing, God does bring out elegance out of the ashes and strength that can only be refined by fire.
I left my home country, Philippines, to teach in the States and went back to Asia a very different person. I went to China, Taiwan, and Philippines with a missions team — something I would have never done or thought of on my own. Two years ago, I left North Carolina with my husband to become a fulltime missionary in Thailand. This was definitely not in my long-term plans, but then I am no longer the old Kezia.
I witnessed my teaching career rise, fall, and rise again. In the midst of all that, God never failed to show me He is with me no matter what. I became aware of His faithfulness in my life in very specific details. He opened my eyes to the work He is doing within me and around me.
I got my heart broken over a 5-year relationship. I thought that was the end for me of ever finding anyone. I married two years later an incredible, funny, and intelligent guy whom I am privileged to serve the Lord with.
I experienced being at the very bottom of myself — angry, helpless, losing hope. And I experienced God pulling me out of that very dark pit and pushing me up to show me there is more to life than what I was fixing my eyes on.
I met innumerable people I shared a meal with, a prayer, and a hug coming from different nationalities, backgrounds, and faiths. Each of whom is etched in my heart whether I remember their names or not. My soul is forever stamped and changed by the unique moments we shared.
I visited seven countries, Washington, D.C. and ten states of the U.S., some of which I only dreamt of going to as a child. I never really expected it to happen.
I learned to speak, read, and write Thai. Although I am still in the beginning stage, but I can sense how God has opened my mind to this language. Only He could have done this. I studied Chinese for 12 years, but I never quite learned it. Yet in 2 years of studying Thai, I can already communicate in basic ways with Thai people, read and understand Thai paragraphs, and even translate English paragraphs in Thai writing.
I experienced God speaking to me audibly through different means. I realized He has been speaking to me all throughout my life, but I never quite recognized His voice.
I gained a new family, new parents.
What I found in all of this is God. God.
And yes, I know He is not quite finish with me yet. There is still much work to do. I am stoked to witness more of Him and to know Him more in my life.
November 15, 2013
© 2013 Kezia Lewis. All Rights Reserved.
4 thoughts on “At 33”
Happy Birthday!! I am so glad to hear that your family and HOH are safe. Enjoyed reading the post. God is so good and He is always molding and shaping us and making us stronger if we let Him into our lives. I know He has made me stronger in the last several years of my life.
Thanks Sue! And yes, indeed, He is very good! We may not understand everything but we know He knows what is best for us. So glad to be His child!
What a sweet post!!! Happy belated birthday. Thanks for sharing your heart with us
Thank you! =)