In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. (Psalm 62:7, NKJV)
Eager for the Lord’s revelations, I have been studying the book of Esther with some of God’s warrior princesses. As we have been digging into the story of this beautiful and courageous woman of the Bible, I reflect on what God is saying and not saying on these pages of the Scripture. And on these pages, I am embarrassed to admit that I (unfortunately) see more of myself in Haman than I would want to think.
Maybe I am not alone on this. Maybe most of us, if not all of us, can identify with Haman’s obsession of himself.
Like Haman, we can become self-absorbed constantly wrought with ourselves — our strengths and our weaknesses, our successes and our failures, our past, our present, and our future — invariably plagued with either wanting to be honored or wanting to be invisible in a crowd. In both cases, we have narrowed our focus on ourselves. And like Haman, we can easily jump into presumptions that honor or disgrace is ours when certain situations arise. God help us!
Pride is so destructive and so subtle that at times we can be so consumed by it we don’t even realize it has taken us captive. It can also take different forms and manifest itself in different areas of our lives. To esteem ourselves extremely high or extremely low is a characterization of the condition of our hearts and how the lies of the enemy have taken root in our lives.
God has shown me through this study that I suffer from this dangerous condition. And I am grateful that He has shown me this so I can begin the process of breaking free from it. It will not be an easy undertaking, but I know that with His truths I can begin walking victoriously free from this bondage.
I keep a prayer journal so I can look back and see how God is working in my life. Below is a prayer (using Colossians 2:18) I wrote to Him a few days ago as I continue the battle with pride.
“Forgive me, Father, for the wickedness in my heart and the pride that I have allowed to consume me. I pray, dear Lord, let no one cheat me of my reward, let me not take delight in false humility and worship of angels, and may I not be vainly puffed up by my fleshly mind. Help me to break free from the stronghold of my pride and self-righteousness. Help me to live my life victorious over these, open to love others as You love them; and to have Your wisdom.” (January 29, 2013, Journal Entry)
I am sharing what God has revealed to me not so that I can embarrass myself, but because I want you to know that God is not going to leave you just the way you are right now. He is doing a work to perfect you and to help you grow more as His child. During one of the study times with the book of Esther, He showed me this verse that really spoke volumes to my heart.
“In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.” (Psalm 62:7)
Indeed, in God is my salvation and my glory! Indeed, in God is my strength and my refuge! No one else can give me what I truly need but Him. This world is so fickle-minded and can quickly change from being for you to being against you. I love the way Beth Moore said something about following Mordecai’s example of not allowing honor to get in your head.
“Let’s pursue a walk with God so close that the spotlights of this world — be they for us or against us — are eclipsed by His enormous shadow cast on our path. There in the shelter of the Most High we find our significance and the only satisfaction of our insatiable need to be noticed. There and there alone we are free to be neither depressed nor impressed with the capricious reactions of this carnal world.” (Beth Moore, Esther: It’s Tough Being A Woman)
Oh, I pray this over you sister! I pray that you and I walk so closely with our God that whatever honor or disgrace this world may offer us is going to be overshadowed by His presence.
February 9, 2013
© 2013 Kezia Lewis. All Rights Reserved.